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The Mornhithen Project

As we all know, mystery surrounds the race of Hobbits. We do know a little about their origins. They are from the East part of Middle-earth, east of the Great River, and they are apparently a diminutive kind of human. During the Third Age, they lived longer than any humans except the Dúnedain. Why, though, should this be so? They have terrible habits that should lessen their lifespan: overeating, heavy smoking, heavy drinking, and a general laziness that results in obesity. Yet they routinely live to be 100 years old or so. Why is this?

Yer Honor, we allege that the activities of Galadriel the Elvenqueen during the Third Age are responsible. We maintain that as she moved around Middle-earth, she took with her a mobile nuclear facility that released radiation that altered those mortals in its immediate vicinity, and we allege that said mortals are the Hobbits.

The facts:

  1. Galadriel was a bitter rival of Feanor. [Unfinished Tales]
  2. Galadriel made a Phial containing clear liquid. This object had the capability of giving off light.
  3. Galadriel set up and maintained the Mirror of Galadriel, which shows "many things."
  4. There is no mention of Hobbits, or of any short humanlike mortal beings other than dwarves, until the middle of the Third Age.
  5. During the first half of the Third Age, Galadriel and Celeborn lived in Lothlórien and Imladris. [UT]
  6. Gollum is part of an early race of Hobbitlike beings who apparently lived south of Imladris and north of Lothlórien. The three branches of early Hobbits passed through this area during the Third Age.
  7. Galadriel gave Frodo the Phial.
  8. Galadriel gave Sam a box of seeds that, when planted, grew at an incredibly fast rate.
  9. Sam acquired a length of rope from Lothlórien that is said to "shimmer" in the dark. [The Two Towers]
  10. Galadriel passed through the Shire to depart from Middle-earth.
  11. Hobbits apparently got shorter after the end of the Third Age. [Fellowship of the Ring, "Concerning Hobbits"]

From [1], we can deduce that Galadriel's rivalry extended to a desire to best Feanor at what he did. His greatest accomplishments were the Silmarils and the Palantíri. It follows that if Galadriel intended to imitate him in her rivalry, she would have made objects similar to these, and in fact, she does [2 and 3].

From [4], [5], and [6], we know that during the Third Age, there was a possibility that Galadriel and Celeborn could have come near the westbound Hobbit-ancestors. Galadriel was "recovering" from her Second Age stint in Eregion with Rings of Power, and she, owning a Ring, would not have lost her ambition--especially since Feanor's descendant, Celebrimbor, had been slain. It follows that she was continuing her "creative" work as the ancestors of Hobbits moved westward, but that no one noticed them. After these people arrived in Bree-land and the Shire, they attracted the notice of the King of Arnor. This was because they were short.

At the end of the Third Age, Galadriel made the Phial in imitation of the Silmarils, and she even told Frodo that it gave off the same light as the Silmarils, having supposedly captured the light of Eärendil's star (a Silmaril). But this was a lie, as I will demonstrate.

The Phial was less strong than the Silmarils. The Silmarils could be on the very head of Morgoth and still shine, but the Phial went out on top of Mt. Doom, because the power of Sauron was stronger. This has nothing to do with the fact that Galadriel--who was less powerful than Sauron--made the Phial, because Feanor was also less powerful than Morgoth. The bottom line is, if it contained the same light as the Silmarils, this should not have happened. It is impossible that Sauron, without the Ring, was more powerful than Morgoth at his strongest. The light in the Phial could not have been from the Trees of Valinor.

Therefore the Phial has another source of light. Since it was not hooked up to any other source of power, the light came from itself. This means it either had a battery, or it was radioactive. Since the Phial was transparent, it clearly did not contain a battery.

There is further evidence that the Phial was nuclear. Radioactive materials are frequently stored in water, and water is used to cool nuclear facilities. The Phial contained water, which the light came from. The source of the light was in the water.

The only explanation is that Frodo's night-light was a nuclear device.

As for Galadriel's seeds [8], with it established that the Phial was nuclear, the explanation for this is easy. Nuclear radiation can cause plants to grow large and disrupt normal growth cycles. Galadriel's seeds were clearly abnormal. If she had been working on a radioactive Silmaril ripoff, then Lothlórien would have been tainted by her experiments. The seeds were mutated as well.

Sam took rope from Lothlórien that glimmered when he used it in Mordor. It's fairly obvious why this would be so.

Since we've established that Galadriel had gone nuclear, we have an explanation for why the Hobbits were so abnormal compared to their non-mutated relatives. The clincher, however, is the late-1960's manuscript "Mornhithen," which verifies the guess:


Now in the Days of Bliss, Galadriel was high in the craftspeople of the Noldor, named after Feanor, yet it displeased her. She had wished in all things to best Feanor, for so deep was her dislike of him. And so, even as Feanor wrought the palantíri and Silmarilli, Galadriel studied his craft in secret. She grew wise in the lore and deeply desired to make her own Silmaril, since Feanor begrudged the Light to her. Often did she try, yet she could not accomplish this feat, and so it made the Darkness much more bitter to her.

It displeased her when Eärendil took the first Silmaril into the sky, for that made it impossible for her to capture the pure Light of the Trees without also obtaining ordinary light of other stars. Galadriel gave up hope of capturing any light of the Silmarils after Maedhros and Maglor took and lost the two gems. Then Galadriel and Celeborn took counsel together and studied much of the matter, and they decided that they could try to do that which Feanor had not done, and create the source of light in addition to its vessel.

During the Second Age, however, their plans were thwarted when the Noldor grew interested in making Rings of Power. Much is told elsewhere of the wars of the Second Age between Sauron and the Eldar, and at the end of the Second Age, Galadriel held the Ring of Adamant. With the destruction of the forges of the Eldar in Eregion, Galadriel withdrew to other lands. As is told elsewhere, she and Celeborn came to Imladris where Elrond lived, and he wedded their daughter Celebrían. And while they abode there, Galadriel used the forge of Elrond for her craft. She studied the lore of fiushán, the idea that great heat would cause an event known to the Wise as the "Unification of Matter," and that energy and light would then issue forth from an object. Fëanor had first written of the idea, and Celebrimbor had meant to attempt it ere he was slain. Galadriel tried to bring about fiushán, but she could not get the forge of Elrond hot enough.

Then Galadriel and Celeborn came to Laurelindórenan while Amroth was lord, and dwelt there for a time, seeking further knowledge. While in that fair land, they discovered a substance that the Galadhrim called hyureiniam, "rock of power" in their Silvan tongue. Galadriel took some of this substance and began her labours, which were kept secret from the Galadhrim and were known only as the Mornhithen project, or "dark mist," for in her studies of this material, Galadriel found that she could add water and produce a mist that had a debilitating effect on mortals. But she soon found that this marvellous rock had other properties. It was not long before Galadriel was able to accomplish her goal of old and illuminate crystals with the hyureiniam of Lothlórien.

Now all this happened as a company of mortal Men were leaving their homeland in the East. They passed between Imladris and Lothlórien, and it was said that the children of these men were unlike their parents, being shorter and with much more hair on their heads and feet. The males were also unable to grow beards. It was whispered among the wisest of the Eldar that the labours of Galadriel had been the cause of this alteration.

It should here be noted that this manuscript was classified Top Secret before its release to the public.