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Possible Rejected Silmarillion Scenes

  • Tired of striving to be the loudest, Melkor sneaks away from the other Ainur and pulls the plug on the amplifiers.
  • The Two Trees of Valinor have blinking colored Christmas lights haphazardly thrown over them.
    All the Valar: "Melkor!"
  • A Balrog, while trying to attack Valinor, trips and falls forward on its face. All the other Balrogs burst out laughing.
  • There were four Silmarils. While Fëanor is ogling the Silmarils, Melkor sneaks up from behind and pushes him over, and he accidentally swallows one. This, of course, causes all the things he does later. You know what it did to Carcharoth...
  • Fëanor draws his sword on Fingolfin. Fingolfin whirls around, holding a lightsaber.
    Fingolfin: "You got a problem, buster?"
    Fëanor (shocked and frightened): "Uh, no, not particularly... See you later."
  • Festival in Valinor during a thunderstorm. There is a power failure, and all look accusingly at Melkor.
    Melkor: "I swear I had nothing to do with it."
  • Yavanna: "...And then our hurt should be healed, and the malice of Melkor be confounded."
    Fëanor looks at them, laughs, gives them the one-finger salute, and walks out.
  • The Noldor attack the messenger of the Valar and depart, stomping their feet and singing "We Will Rock You."
  • A lengthy and expensive investigation shows that, contrary to the rumor circulated by Celegorm and Curufin, there was NO "Valarian flame thrower" involved in their father's death and the subsequent loss of his body.
  • Fingolfin arrives at Morgoth's door and knocks. He hears, "Gothmog, if that's another salesman, burn him to a crisp!"
  • Beren shows Finrod his ring.
    Finrod: "Ooooh... My precioussss!"
  • Lúthien sings before Morgoth for a whole day.
    Lúthien: "You're supposed to go to sleep!"
    Morgoth: "I can't. I had five cups of coffee this morning."
  • Thingol: "What of your quest, and of your vow?"
    Beren: "You can have the Silmaril when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers! Literally!" He laughs hysterically. Thingol is not amused.
  • Lúthien is in the Halls of Mandos, singing.
    Mandos: "You may leave now if you wish."
    Lúthien: "Aw, gee. Is it that bad? I've had a cold recently...."
  • Move to the next room in Mandos, where Fingolfin and Fëanor are playing the riddle-game.
    Fingolfin: "What have I got in my pocket?" *snickers*
    Fëanor: "NOT FUNNY."
  • Maeglin and Morgoth are talking together.
    Maeglin: "The issue here is not how much you're willing to pay, Morgoth... It's how much I WANT. If you kill me, you've lost your sole way of finding out the location, and instead of being a hated name for centuries, I'd be a martyr of my people who would die rather than give you any information."
    Morgoth: "You're right about THAT. Of course, all of this stays within this room."
  • While leading the survivors from Gondolin, Tuor accidentally sets a stone rolling. It knocks all the elves back, but Tuor doesn't realize it.
  • Túrin, in an amnesic state, sees Nienor's body. His sword says to him, "You know, I'm right here if you need me. All you have to do is ask."
  • When Elwing falls onto Eärendil's ship, she hollers out, "Iceberg, dead ahead!" Eärendil promptly responds by holding the Silmaril high and proclaiming, "I'm king of the world!" They start laughing.
  • Eärendil to the Valar: "Morgoth? Fëanor? Lúthien? No way, pals. I am the star in THIS story."
    Mandos: "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm about to put this one in a deep, dark pit somewhere."
    Eärendil: "Well, I AM the star." A brief pause, then groans from everyone.
  • Elwing, chatting with the sea-elves: "I've been waiting for hours for my husband to finish his business, and I'm just about ready to take his ship and leave him stranded here if he likes it so much. This is worse than any hardware store! Just a bit of advice to you: AVOID MEN."
  • Final scene where Vingilot sails into the sky. On the ground, Eärendil pops up.
    Manwe: "Hey... if you're here, who's in your ship?"
    Earendil: "Lúthien."
    Manwe: "But she's supposed to be dead."
    Earendil: "Oh, she didn't die; she just went home."